


In Our Final Moments...

by yaboyj



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: 3x14 from ed's perspective with One Slight Change ;), Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Isabella (mentioned) - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 17:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13346523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboyj/pseuds/yaboyj
Summary: "Despite everything Edward had done to him, he never hated Oswald for loving him. He only now despised himself for feeling the same."Edward Nygma makes his choice, but he knows it's not a good one.





	In Our Final Moments...

“Ed, I love you. I know you believe that now."   
  
The disheveled man stood before him, his appearance as shaken as his empire and more likely his heart.  
  
At his snivelling voice, Edward repressed a shiver of doubt running up his spine. It left a cold, sick feeling under his skin that was irritated by the cool sea breeze blowing in his ears while they stood frozen at the edge of the foggy pier.  
  
"So you need to listen to me when I tell you, by doing this it will change you."   
  
His eyes were cold and bleak, skin blanched as if he were already post-mortem. Edward had seen that look hundreds of times, but it had never appeared as perturbing as it did now. In the eyes of someone who truly could see into his own.   
  
He could feel his throat tighten in hesitation. _He needed to do this,_ _he wanted to_ , is what he told himself. He tried to force himself to relax, but his voice came off gravelly and unnatural.  
  
"I've killed before." His voice rumbled through his upper body, a relieving combination of anger and contempt overshadowing the fear behind it. His confidence was quickly shaken by Oswald's desperate response.  
  
"Not like this! This won't be a crime of passion or self preservation. This will be the cold blooded murder of someone you love."   
  
His voice shuttered, dipping to a whisper at those final words, and Edward could feel his insides curling.  
  
"I _don't_ love you."   
  
In his inner panic, he rushed to answer, his tone coming out filled with revulsion at the implications. He felt guilt pool in his mind as he knew the man shuddering before him would take it the wrong way. Despite everything Edward had done to him, he never hated Oswald for loving him. He only now despised himself for feeling the same.  
  
At his response Oswald's expression cracked, his eyes filled with grief as he reached a restrained hand for Edward's face: to hold him, in his dying moments.   
  
Edward smacked the hand away from him. _He needed to stay focused,_ or he knew he would change his mind.  
  
Oswald gasped at the touch, shaking as he stared at the concrete below, before his eyes rose filled with a newfound fury.   
  
"You need me Edward Nygma! Just as I need you." His words shot through Edward's outer shell, and he felt his own lips open slightly in surprise. "You cannot have one without the other!" His tone was nasally, begging, and Ed felt the truth in his words burrow into his mind.   
  
_He needed Oswald_. He knew this was true despite everything he told himself now and afterwards.  
  
Attempting to deflect this truth, he recited the script he had replayed in his mind since he began this vengeful charade.  
  
"You killed Isabella." His eyes left Oswald's for fear that the broken man would see the truth within them.  
  
The words did not deflate Oswald, in fact they seemed to give him confidence. His voice had almost returned to his natural tone as he continued.  
  
"The point is-"   
  
Edward felt his frustration simmer at how poorly he had predicted what Oswald was to say. He wanted to feel justice, closure, or at least satisfaction. Instead he felt only anger at Oswald's continuing lack of compassion.  
  
He couldn't even see that it was not Isabella he grieved, but the trust broken between them.  
  
"That _is_ the point!"  
  
He shouted, his eyes closing as he berated himself for the lack of communication between them. Oswald was always so good at knowing his meaning when others couldn't understand, but now it was like he was looking at another person. A stranger as soon as he had given the order to kill Isabella.  
  
"You can't talk your way out of this Oswald!" He let the weeks of boiling contempt fall from his mouth in exhaustion. "I have wanted you to _suffer_ , as _I've suffered_."   
  
He paused, watching for any sign that Oswald knew the true reason behind his rage, but all he saw were pale oblivious eyes.   
  
" _You_ killed her, so _you_ die." He shook the gun in his hand at Oswald a final time, before resorting to a solemn silence.  
  
The empty blue eyes were filled suddenly with a juvenile irritation Edward had seen directed at him a scarce amount of times.   
  
"When I met you, you were a nervous, jittery, loser!" His voice was clogged and childish, but the words stung all the same. Edward felt his jaw drop in shock at the harsh words that followed.   
  
"You were nothing! I created _'Edward Nygma,'"_ The angled man spit, voice softening as he continued. "And _I_ am the only one in the world who truly sees you as you are."  
  
Edward did not object, his only response being huffs of breathe that flowed around them in the winter air.   
  
Oswald's voice had become desperate once again as he finished his final plea to the beloved friend holding him at gunpoint.  
  
"Who you can still become."  
  
Edward didn't respond, conflict flying through his mind as he recognized the truth in the other's final words. His cold breathes were interrupted at Oswald's sobbing voice.  
  
"You can't do this…"  
  
Silence suffocated the space between them.  
  
"Ed, are you listening to me?"  
  
Edward couldn't speak, his eyes downcast. He felt himself pulling the gun ever so slightly away from the shackled man, his mind racing.   
  
"I'm listening."  
  
Oswald leaned in as far as he could without pressing the gun against himself.  
  
"Say something…" he begged, his eyes brimming with tears.  
  
_He couldn't do this, he knew he couldn't. He loved Oswald._  
  
His mind halted on that thought.   
  
_He loved Oswald._  
  
_He loved him and Oswald betrayed him._ __  
  
His voice was weak and exhausted as he raised his eyes to look into those of the man he had been ready to devote his life to weeks ago. With a helpless sigh he stared into those eyes, never blinking or looking away.  
  
"I loved you Oswald, but you killed her."  
  
Oswald's lifeless eyes filled with life at the words, and Edward leaned down pressing their dry lips together.   
  
He saw Oswald's eyes flutter closed, with them a single wet tear dropping down his cheek. He raised his left hand to brush it away, leaving Oswald in an almost ironic appearance of beauty before lowering his hand to grasp the tattered dress shirt at his neck.  
  
Pulling the trigger in his right hand, he felt Oswald jump against him and a gasp broke them apart.  
  
He stared into the shell-shocked eyes inches from his as he pressed his forehead to the other man's. And with a broken voice, he whispered a soft apology before clenching the clothes in his fist and pushing the first person to ever truly love him back off the pier and into the frozen waters below.  
  
He watched the heart broken expression of the man he loved fade beneath the surface, as the icy blue turned scarlet red, and left the pier with a ghastly feeling clinging to lips.

**Author's Note:**

> just wanted to write this scene from ed's perspective (with one slight change lmao)


End file.
